My Roller-Coaster Ride

Ever had the feeling when your heart just feels heavy

Whatever you do just seems so meaningless

You put on a smile on your face but you can’t feel the same smile in your heart

Ever had the feeling when you are in a room full of people

Yet you still feel so lonely

Suddenly everything goes pitch black

.

It feels cold and lonely

So strange yet familiar

As if the empty void in the heart gets bigger and bigger each passing second

There are times when you are stronger

You feel that nothing will make you lose your way

You have a goal in mind

You set off to achieve that, believing everything will be alright

Then in a blink’s of the eye, you realised

Maybe you are not that strong afterall

Maybe you are in denial all these times

And maybe, just maybe you are so deluded

You can’t tell the difference from the reality to make-believes

.

The contact list on your phone book seems so long

Yet when you scroll down

You don’t seem to be able to find someone to speak your fears to

Who can you trust

Who will not think you have gone cuckoo

Who might have the time to listen to you

Who will be able to understand your feelings

You are constantly surrounded with friends and activities to take up your time

You can’t afford to lose your self control

Once you spin off the road, you will just go spinning round and round and round

Then suddenly everything turns pitch black

.

Given any any ordinary day

You welcome your own cynical views of life

You live by your skeptical logics of people

You view the world so jaded that you don’t give two hoots of their opinions

But when you feel you are falling deeper and deeper into the bottomless pit

You try to look for something worthwhile to hold on to

You look and search high and low frantically

The surrounding just get darker and it becomes pitch black again

.

What am I heading towards
Where can I find my piece of happiness
Have you found yours
Something that truly belongs to you
Things I have along the way
Always end up with other people
Never once truly belonged to me
Except pitch darkness in the room
Accompanied by loneliness, sadness and emptiness

.

Pitch Dark is when light is not being able to shine through
They say it is always the darkest before sun rise
I am still waiting for my sun rise…looking for the glimpse of sunshine