Que Sara Sara
I was told that I always put up a strong front
I act all strong, stubborn and head strong
The reason is simply so that no one can see the person that I am
I don’t like to express myself
I hate to allow people to see my weakness or that I am capable of feeling vulnerable
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Sometimes I wish I don’t have to put up such a strong front
Sometimes I wish I can cry like a normal person
Innate me feels so weak and so fragile
So brittle that I can fall and break into many million pieces
I can’t afford to do that…I won’t be able to pick myself up again if I do
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There are times when I wish I can express myself better
To say that actually it matters alot to me
Yet I know if my voice speaks out, it will fail to be steady
I don’t want to complicate things more than it already is
Sometimes I wish I could be void of all feelings
So that when I am faced with sadness, hurt, pain, disappointment
I do not know it is them
Does ending it all make life a bit more easier
Or by living it through day by day makes one lose its feelings and be numb to the surrounding
There are so many consequences in life to think about
Life is simply so cruel that when one makes a choice
It seems like it will inevitably hurt an innocent party
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I don’t know what I wish to express in this post of mine
Too many things in my mind clouding my ability to write
Too many issues to face making me feel once again useless
I wonder why and how did I ever get myself implicated with emotions again
But when I am with him, these things do not seem to come into picture
Suddenly reality strikes again…the cold harsh truth has found its way to hit right in the face
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I don’t want to wish anymore
I don’t want to hope anymore
Can I be selfish for once and say
I want things to happen right for once
I want things for us to be set straight so that we can move on together in life
But what if life has nothing planned for us but constant hurt, pain, deceit, disappointment
Then what should we be looking forward to?
Being honest to myself for one, I only want to look forward to spending my happiest times with you and to share my sadness with you…
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"When I was young and fell in love,
I asked my lover,
What lies ahead
Will there be rainbow, day after day
This is what he said to me
Que sara sara,
What ever will be will be,
The future’s not ours to see,
Que sara sara
What will be, will be"
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A childhood song to remind me…let nature takes its course, we cannot see what the future lies ahead for us…live life to the fullest, take whatever comes in stride, be it happiness, sadness, disappointments…at least our time together will be my happiest moments I can ever have dream of…
