My Roller-Coaster Ride

“Let The Wind Come And Blow My Sorrows Away, Let No One See The Endless Tears in My Heart, Coz Someday, Somehow, I Will One Day Find My True Happiness and Peace…”

Please hear my pleas…

Filed under: Uncategorized — yazzy at 7:30 pm on Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The days are so gloomy
The nights are too lonely
The time passes so slowly

My life is gradually disappearing in my very eyes
The pain is eating me alive each single day that goes by
I am always alone
I am so afraid
I am getting weaker instead

I am so tired, emotionally & mentally
When will the tortures & torments be put to a stop?
I am so weary, so exhausted to move on
When will this anguishing, distressful episode end?

I have forgotten the days when my life was wonderfully carefree & happy
Long gone were the times when I was able to look up and say thanks
I can’t find the strength to smile & love another anymore
The person that I once were, has been dead for so long
The smile that used to brighten up the days is now used to hide whatever pains inflicted upon me

I can’t find the person whom I was able to turn to, speak to
I used to be able to seek solace and warm comfort in Him
I have lost my faith and my believe in Him
Has He abandon me or have I lost my will to feel His guidance
Why can’t I feel Him the way I used to

Can’t You hear my desperate cries to You every single moment
Can’t You feel the hurt I am going through
Can’t You understand the enormous turmoil that I am experiencing
Can’t You please hold me in Your arms and let me cry
Can’t You please hold my hands and walk me through this red, hot fiery path

Where were You when I needed You most
Where are You when my heart yells out for You
Where have You gone to all these while
Where can I seek for You to find the peace in me
Where can I unburden all my worries, sadness, hurts, pains to

Please my Heavenly Father, please let me find You
Please allow Your invisible hand lead me back to Your side
Please do not abandon me, in which my mind and heart has been telling me
Please send me a guardian angel to mend my broken wings
Please take me back into Your warm & loving family which I once belong
Please teach me to be Your child once more…

It was because of us, You forsaken Your Only Son
It was in His blood that flows down the mountain, across the ocean to wash away our sins
It was You who brought miracles into people’s lives
It is I who is pleading to You and Your works in mine now…

One of those analogy in Life?

Filed under: Uncategorized — yazzy at 2:29 am on Monday, July 18, 2005

Staring out at the open sea
Hoping to find some peace within
Listening to the sound of the waves
Looking the endless horizon across the ocean
So amazed how beautiful nature can be

 

My life’s full of uncertainties
My mind’s filled with unanswered questions
My heart’s burden with unspoken worries
My eyes’ speaks of endless sadness

 

You know, life can be like the waves
Constantly crashing into the reefs
Back and fro, day in day out
The reefs are like the problems we faced in our life
Constantly being there for us to hit into
Never going away, not moving, refusing to budge a single bit

 

I once felt my life’s like a wooden plank drifting on the waves
When it crashed into the reefs, it seems like my life did the same
I was left all alone to pick up the pieces
Floating, waiting to let go and drown

Yet, we can choose to view the reefs as our life
Though constantly being battered by the waves
The reefs remain standing strong, and not break into bits and pieces
Picking up things along the way, unwittingly building and becoming stronger
That’s how we should be, no matter how bad problems seem to be
We need to stand firm and become stronger to withstand all issues, big or small
Take the problems as it comes and not bowing down to defeat

Life…is something amazing just like the sea
Life…can be as beautiful as the nature
Life…can be as fragile as the floating wooden plank on the water or as strong as the reefs, however you choose it to be
Life…is like the endless horizon you see way beyond the sea, with choices and options, paths on the road to carefully select from
It is how strong, determined one is, to make life as deep as the ocean…as meaningful as the nature begins its cycle everyday…

Simply you!

Filed under: Uncategorized — yazzy at 7:48 pm on Thursday, July 7, 2005

You are constantly with excuses
The words that comes out from your mouth is so inconsistent with your promised actions
Your life is made up of lies and stories
You have more stories than Ronald Dahl and Danielle Steels combined

Ask yourself what you have done
Or more appropriately, what have you not done
Simple responsibilities asked of you seems to be so difficult
Your brain is always cooking up new receipes, feeding your insecurities for every passing moment
To present yet another issue you are "facing" that prevents you from performing your duties

Have you ever thought of writing a script of your pathetic life
Your life is nothing but a joke
You are living a life of a person who is constantly begging for acceptance
You are the do-er of your life
So blame yourself and no one else

You are in absolute no position to criticize neither me nor anyone
You are obviously still in denial of your wrong-doings
You have no authority to question me in my duties
‘Cause as far as I am concerned, I have done and am still doing everything asked of me
Will always be striving to do even more
I have never shun away from any of my responsibilities

Excellent development, good influence, outstanding upbringing is the works of a responsible, dependable, trustworthy, reliable person
Not one who claims to be, not one who pretends to be
But one who works towards it, who walks the talk and practice the preach
Can you name one of the above attributes that you possibly might have
You are just the total opposite
What makes you think you are fit to be in her life

You are zilch
You are nonentity
You deserve no pity or sympathy
You will serve better by simply stop lying, creating stories and acting your shows
Just by merely walking out without a single trace…you are doing justice in her life
I assure you, you will be forgotten almost immediately

A Dedication to those who left and came back to my life

Filed under: Uncategorized — yazzy at 2:18 am on Wednesday, July 6, 2005

It has been years since we last met
It’s been 8, 9, 10 or even 12 years since we heard of each others’ news
It has truly been a long long time…

How are you?
How’s life been treating you?
What has changed and what has not changed?
These are just basic simple questions to ask…

What i really want to know is:
If you are doing really well,
If you have been happy all these years,
If you are surrounded by people who loves you truly

And if in all these years…along the way…
If you have been hurt
If you have been sad
If you have been let-down by people who matters
If you have been disappointed
If you have fallen
If you have shed a single tear…
I want to say I’m so sorry for not alwayz being there…

I want you to know
No matter how we ended our friendship, our relationship, our love
No matter how we were hurt by each other, diasppointed with each other or drifted away from each other
I am glad to have found you once more
To have you in my life again

I don’t wish to lose you again
I don’t wish to know you are alone again
I don’t wish to not be there to share your happiness and woes
If you treat me as your friend like before, let our life open to each other and embrace the road ahead of us in our friendship, our relationship and our love…

We were once together
We were once best of friends
We were once an item
We were once inseparable
We can do that again if our sincerity combines together to be one…